...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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