obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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