So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
