Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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