All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
