Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
