Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
