Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
