I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
