This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My breasts were aching with rage.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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