TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
