I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
