my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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