They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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