I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
