Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
