everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
