it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
