Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
