I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
