I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
