Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
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