Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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