'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
