Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
