worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
