Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
