and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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