How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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