if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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