I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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