is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
