and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
should my penis look like a turkey
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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