I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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