She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
