I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
