it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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