The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
