I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
