Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
