Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
