I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
