just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Is Oprah even human
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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