She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
