Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My balls are so social today.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
