Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
