Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just threw up on my dentist
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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