my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
she looked like the before picture.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
