Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
