How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
