He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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