Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
