Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
