one might say we're banned from that church
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
